I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize