Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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