I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
