How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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