My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
