I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
