I feel great
I just peed on a car
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize