Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
