I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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