Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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