Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
