I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
