you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
