Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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