i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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