the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
