I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
