Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You pole danced in your parka.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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