Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
