An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
