jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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