Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
