hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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