u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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