i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
