so let's talk penis.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
