You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
