i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
