since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
