so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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