Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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