If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
