one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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