i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
