Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
