Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
