Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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