he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
