wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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