just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize