I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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