i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
