he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
