I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
tell me about the fingering
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
