Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
