I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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