You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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