It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
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