so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She bit a glass in half.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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