he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
