My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
