there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
