is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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