Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
