He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
