im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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