Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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