he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
