i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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