yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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