I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
