the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
