We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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