physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
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