i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
