i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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