i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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